Sometimes your intuition tells you that something is not right, but you are not quite sure what it could be. Are you in a relationship that worries you? Are you afraid that this person has some “problems” that could cause you a lot of problems? Does your instinct tell you that something is not right? Check a few facts and answer these questions:
1. Do you get angry and then apologize and promise that it will never happen again? How many times do you need to see this before you recognize this as an abuser tactic? Once is enough. Twice is too much. To go.
2. Is it “too good to be true”? Is it your soul mate? Knight in shining armor? And do you know this on the second or third date? Better take a step back and give it some time. No one is perfect, and abusers are often charming and manipulative.
3. Does he ask you for money? He never takes you out to dinner somewhere nice? Being thrifty is fine, but being pathological with money is not. Be on the lookout for clues as someone with a good job who never spends money. Narcissists do not have a normal relationship with money.
4. Are you spending money recklessly? The other pathology surrounding money is bragging. The man with a huge roll of bills who is always buying drinks for the bar, but does not know how to save for the house.
5. Is he insensitive to your needs, and does he often tease you? Don’t stay with someone who makes you feel bad!
6. Do you have a need to control situations? To control you? While this may be comforting, it is childish and you are now a grown person who needs to make your own decisions.
7. Do you have a good personality in front of others? Do you think it’s “just cool”? while you know better?
You have the right to be treated with respect. The narcissist is unable to do so. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is just that – a personality disorder. Women in these relationships find that over time things get worse, not better. Don’t marry a narcissist. Don’t think you can change it. You can not.
You can change yourself. More self confidence will lead to less need. It is better to be alone than with an abuser.
Charm is a facade, manipulation will wear you down and one day you will discover that dreams have turned into a nightmare if you are left with a toxic guy.