By 
I just got back from a teacher retirement banquet at one of the big school districts in Southern California. I was invited to honor my friend who is retiring this year. While I was glad to be there, I was blessed beyond anything I expected. Hearing the stories of teachers and principals who had influenced thousands of children in their 30 or more years of service refreshed my heart. No one could have survived all those years of service simply for money! No one! Impossible! That was loud and clear in all the speeches. It was their vocational passion and quiet commitment that carried them through the daily grind; with the emotional moods of their students, their parents, the changes in educational strategies they face through the years, and the demands placed on them as community leaders. Amazing! Live life with a purpose!
As I drove down the 405 freeway on the way home, my mind was flooded with memories of teachers and people I’ve met over the years, people who built me up and people who built my children up. I am the result of so many people who have influenced my life in a positive way! From my amazing parents to teachers, professors, mentors, loyal friends, people in general and most recently my four amazing children! I also thought of those who have tried to ruin my life! They were unsuccessful but instead helped me grow and see where I needed to strengthen my life construct and just get better!
When I got home I went to my archive of quotes and interesting things that people and friends send me all the time and found a poem. No author was credited for the poem, but its simplicity made my point. It’s called “Builders and Demolishers.”
I saw them tear down a building,
A gang of men in a busy city.
With a ho, hehe, ho, and a lustful scream
They spun a beam and a wall collapsed.
I asked the foreman, “Are these men skilled?
Like the men you would hire if you had to build?
He laughed and replied, “No, actually,
Just common work is all I need.
I can easily screw up in a day or two
What the builders have taken years to do.”
I asked myself as I was leaving
Which of these roles have I tried to play?
Am I a builder who works carefully,
Measure life with a ruler and square?
Or am I a city-walking destroyer?
Happy with the demolition job?
You see, it takes years, sweat, careful dedication, and a sense of purpose to build anything; intentionality is needed. On the other hand, it takes a moment to tear it apart! It takes vocational passion, a purpose, a heart, a committed mind, skills and professional experience to build people, a family, a marriage and institutions. Uneducated work, unbridled emotions, anger, rage, winds of toxic influence, drugs, alcohol, envy and “bulldozers” are needed to destroy it! It takes constant, dedicated love over time from a teacher to build a child’s confidence. It takes the destructive words of a bully to destroy the self-esteem of the same child. It takes years for a father to love a son to maturity. It takes an irresponsible and devastating act from the father himself to destroy everything. It takes years and time to build anything, but it only takes a few days to destroy everything; sometimes it just takes a single act!
“Am I a builder or a wrecker”, I said to myself?
What do I do when I don’t get what I want? Do I see the challenge as an opportunity to build or destroy?
What do I do when my child does not respond to me with respect? Punishment or discipline? It doesn’t take a genius to reward good behavior or punish bad. Anyone with minimal brainpower can do that! It takes character to discipline a child.
What do I do when I love and my love is unrequited? Do I keep building that relationship or do I ruin it?
What do I do when someone tries to destroy my reputation? Do I build my inner life or ruin the reputation of that person?
What do I do when someone shines brighter than me? What do I do when that person gets what I’ve always wanted to get? Do I build that person up or do I come in with a “bulldozer” and tear down their sense of self-worth?
What do I do when I meet someone who is clearly better than me at something? Do I build a relationship to learn from that person or do I throw mud at them out of envy and out of control competitive spirit?
I have it!
A builder sees challenges as windows of opportunity; the teachers who were honored at the retirement banquet tonight were builders. A builder dreams and plans a building before it exists! He builds with a purpose and wants to see his creation stand the test of time. A dismantler or wrecker sees problems in every solution and has nothing left after he is done. A wrecker destroys when someone is not “useful”; spoilers are consummate pragmatists! A wrecker’s favorite word is “NO!” because spoilers are negative thinkers and selfish to the bottom of their soul. A builder detects faults and tries to do something to improve the situation; a dismantler sees problems and challenges in every solution.
I want to be a builder! And you?
“When you look back on your life, you will find that the times you have truly lived are the times you have done things in the spirit of love.” -Henry Drummond