There is an old saying that goes: “If you keep doing what you have done, you will continue to get what you have …” If what you have been doing has not worked in the past, chances are, do it more, harder or for longer. time won’t work either.
For many women who have a hard time reaching orgasm, their first hit comes with a vibrator. And, once they learn the trick, they eventually learn to orgasm without mechanical assistance and, if all goes well, eventually with their lover. There are women who never progress beyond the need for the vibrator, and some women who were once able to come without it may even become dependent on it …
I would like to address the issue of women who are completely anorgasmic, that is, even with the help of a vibrator, they have not yet experienced their first orgasm … and I am going to tell you how you can give them their first orgasm.
Now the simple fact is that there are a million reasons why a woman can’t reach orgasm, and I can’t know for sure what’s going on with a particular woman … But basically it’s a pretty good bet that if not You can come using a vibrator, so the problem is NOT physical, it will work to bring you orgasm.
So if it’s not a physical problem, what does that leave behind?
If you said “emotional,” you will be at the front of the class (and you will soon be able to give your wife an orgasm if you are willing to learn a few things and be patient). And, YES, these emotional Female orgasm techniques work like crazy.
The first thing you have to do (and her friends too, women talk about this kind of thing all the time) is stop putting pressure on the poor girl. Feeling pressure to orgasm is, for women, more or less the same as putting pressure on a man when he has trouble getting up. Imagine that you are stressed at work and it takes a while to stimulate yourself, and your wife or girlfriend pulls out a timer and says, “Come on! I don’t have all night! Get ready now!” That is more or less what is happening to your woman right now if her inability to have an orgasm is a problem in your relationship.
So the first thing you’ll have to do is tell her that, at least for a while, both of you will stop trying to make her come and focus on enjoying the pleasure she already has from sex. . (After all, sex feels great even when you don’t have an orgasm.) This will be the first step toward building the “sexual confidence” that will be necessary for her to come emotionally.
Next, you will have to start making her feel good about her sexuality. (As the opposite of inappropriate, which is what “pressure” makes you feel right now).
Eventually, she will give herself to you sexually, and that will allow you to “give her permission” to experience an orgasm … something that, for one reason or another, some women simply cannot do on their own.
Okay, let’s dive into the serious stuff …
Orgasms don’t come from stimulating the vagina in the right way, they come from the brain (and when it’s really good, you could say they come from the heart). Building a connection with her, making her feel safe to experience these feelings, and arousing her more by creating male energy is what will ultimately give her orgasms from sex.
Teasing is a great way to build sexual tension that I think you should experiment with. It is a powerful female orgasm technique that is too often neglected for nothing but impatience.
For example … if you slowly touch her and move in circles around her nipples or clitoris, but don’t actually touch those super sensitive areas … until she literally begs you to go further … while driving her crazy mocking this way, 2 things are happening:
THE OBVIOUS: She gets horny and turned on by the rising sexual tension.
THE ELUSIVE: Because you are taking control of how and when you get sexual pleasure, you are assuming the male role of LEADING the interaction and controlling your body.
As you become less and less tentative and more in control of sexual interaction, and more in control of YOUR sexual feelings and responses, she will become aroused much more deeply than she could have been in the past.
And most importantly, he will feel more Sexual Confidence in you, which will make him finally SURRENDER to you … this will ultimately make it possible for you to give him orgasms at will.
This does not happen quickly. It is a process.
The first step is to do the things that make her feel your masculine power.
As I mentioned earlier, TEASING is a great way to start this process.
Biting her on the back of the neck (you don’t have to be hard enough to leave a mark!) Is another powerful arousal for women because it is a primitive and instinctive sign of your dominance.
Even before you go to bed, just picking her up and throwing her over your shoulder and spinning her around until she giggles is the kind of masculinity display that will make her that much more receptive to you in the bedroom.
And when you’re in bed, the safe, strong, yet gentle way you put your hands on his body can communicate a world of masculine sexual confidence to him. And that’s better than all the sex advice I can give you.
Earning your sexual confidence
So is it about eye contact and intimacy building … or is it about being masculine and dominant?
In reality, they are two sides of the same coin.
For many pre-orgasmic women, the problem is simply that they can’t let go … they can’t give themselves permission to come. They often don’t realize this fact, but for other women … she knows she’s about to come … and can tell there’s a great deal of pleasure right across from where she is … LA SCARS TOO MUCH.
It’s like that feeling you get when you hit the top of the roller coaster and you’re about to fall down that first steep drop …
It’s scary, but by then you have no choice, you’re going to go the side …
And when you do, you SCREAM … and you have a
Imagine if there was a button on roller coasters that people could push, just when they reached the top of the first hill, that would allow them to stop the ride so they could go down.
Now everyone who got on that roller coaster got on because they expected to have a lot of fun … But I’m willing to bet if there was a button like that … OUT OF THE RIDE.
That is EXACTLY what happens to many women who have not had their first orgasm. You need to earn her SEXUAL TRUST so that she can GIVE HERSELF to you completely. Once you do, instead of giving yourself permission to come, you will give that permission to YOU … it will allow YOU to make the decision to let go.
Sexual trust, as I define it, is not the same as trust in relationships or the kind of trust issues you talk about when it comes to marital problems. It’s not about honesty or knowing that you won’t cheat or hurt her. It’s about her being confident in her ability to safely get her to a place where she will lose control and bring her back safely without her experiencing any kind of weirdness or embarrassment.
Sometimes I use the analogy of an airline pilot.
Would you rather have a pilot who is honest and of the highest integrity … who you can leave alone in a room with a bag full of cash, and know that he will never be tempted?
Or would you rather get on the plane with a guy who may be something of a jerk, but has flown thousands of hours in the worst weather conditions and landed planes at the most technically challenging airports during hurricanes without ever having a security incident? ?
Who would you trust to take you home on your next vacation?
Sexual confidence works the same way.
And winning requires competence, trust and determination … as well as tenderness, intimacy and communication.