By 
The main task of mourning the death of a loved one is acceptance. That is, accept the reality that the loved one is no longer with you and accept the multiplicity of changes that are taking place in your life because of the loss. Resisting the inevitable change only leads to more pain.
There are two levels of acceptance. The first, intellectual acceptance, is easy to achieve. We can acknowledge the death of a loved one. However, emotional acceptance is a different story; it takes much longer because it involves the process of withdrawing our emotional investment in the physical presence of the loved one.
Here are five ways you can make sure your grievance work doesn’t drag on and that you can eventually come to terms with the death of your loved one on an emotional level. Much of this is inside work and will call on you to strengthen your inner life.
1. Accept the fact that life will be different; it’s a new life. This means realizing that you have to drop some of the old routines involving your loved one. Giving up the old for the new is a great challenge. The inability to engage with this fact of life is what often causes a lot of depression and you spend precious energy resisting. Decide as early as possible that you will accept the changes imposed by the loss, and start doing things to accommodate the change.
2. Realizing that your social circle and/or support network may be drastically altered. If you are a widower, there are some situations involving couples that you will not be invited to. This is often very difficult to treat. There are also some people, even good friends, who fear death and will tend to avoid conversations about their loved one. You will feel their concern. Just spend more time with those who meet your needs. And, you may have to find new friends.
3. Work on reducing the amount of time you spend on negative thoughts. Negative thinking involves thoughts about your supposed inability to cope with all your new responsibilities, roles, and challenges. Negative thoughts will never generate the courage to face change. They are the number one force in prolonging the tort.
4. Seek support from knowledgeable sources. Seeking knowledge and support from credible resources is very wise. Most of the mourners grieved deeply based on many myths that were accepted as truth early in life. Look for information in four areas: emotional (how to manage emotions), spiritual (how to best use your religious traditions), physical (how to use exercise to reduce stress and anxiety), and mental (how to use your mind to calm down). and change focus). All this will help reduce the pain of loss.
Ask yourself in which area you lack the most and go for it. Read. Ask others who have had similar loss experiences, people who run grief support groups, in hospices, churches, or hospitals, or if necessary, a professional grief counselor. The information needs of each bereaved will be different.
5. All mourners need a companion, an ally, someone to accompany them on the painful path. Look for one or more who always let you be in charge of your grief, offer you choices, and don’t tell you what to feel or do. Bounce your ideas and emotions off this person. Ask them for their opinion on specific issues, and then decide what he will do based on his analysis of all the advice you’ve received.
Acceptance of your great loss is your number one goal. Keep it at the forefront of your thinking as you face each day. However, don’t let that approach obscure the various healing points you experience along the way. You will feel better and then you will have some reversals. As you keep working, the reversals won’t last as long as before. You will think of your loved one with hope and comfort. You will know you are moving forward as you accommodate loss and change, love in separation as well as in the now, and reinvest in life. Those are the operational definitions of acceptance.