By 
How can one person’s needs be met if the other is not ready to meet them?
give what it takes to allow a romantic relationship
become a meaningful union for life?
If a person is ready to move on, ready to create a
more intimate connection, and the other is not, then what?
Many people could have reached the level of intimacy and
compromise they wanted if they had been given the patience,
compassion and understanding of the other. However, many
people are childish when it comes to matters of the heart.
Many do not have the patience to work on a relationship if
does not meet all your expectations as quickly as
would like. As a result, you have breakups, people who yearn
each other, people with pain in their hearts, when simple
compassion and understanding could have carried them all
they wanted over time.
Many people end relationships because they don’t understand
that friendship is the key – they need to build
trust and enjoy each other’s company without all the formalities
dating or courtship behaviors.
Yes, courtship, dating, sex, romance are all vital to a romantic partner.
relationship, but there are many people who have problems
of intimacy to work first. many people need
go slow and build trust, reaching a certain level of comfort
with someone before they can commit. so on this
case, if one is ready for a committed and exclusive relationship
and the other not, instead of ending hastily and prematurely
the relationship, turn it into a friendship.
Stop the pressures of dating and courtship. allow yourself
bond in a deep, respectful and trusting union as
friends, like best friends.
If the attraction is there, if the chemistry is right, if the
two of you have a lot in common and share
goals, why should such a beautiful experience be completely terminated?
Instead, you can continue to grow and develop.
of your friendship, which after all is the true
foundation of any royal marriage.
So if you are ready for commitment and your partner is
No, drop the pressure and just be friends. Best friends. No
sex, no dates, no intimacy by candlelight. you will find that as
the bond of friendship grows, as the trust deepens, the
who was not ready before, is suddenly ready. And you
they have been there all the time. you came from your heart to
give understanding instead of demanding commitment
of emotions and actions that the other was simply not ready to give.
Time heals fear.
Time builds trust and love grows with time.
You may find, however, that physical chemistry is
Still strong. If you really want to share make love or
passion between each other, do not deny it or repress it, because
doing so causes stress. Go with the flow of your genuine
feelings. If you are attracted to each other, show it. Yew
if you want to sleep together and cuddle, then do it!
There is nothing wrong with showing love. evil is to deny
your love, your chemistry and your feelings just to settle
to a rigid belief or “should” regarding society
Expectations of dating or courtship. There is no “should”
there is only truth. If you feel love and attraction, no
hold it; teach it.
If one of you wants a monogamous relationship and
the other is simply not ready for it, so you must decide
what is most important to you: genuine sharing of time
you have together or settle for not having each other in
your lives at all.
When you let the word “should” control your life,
you realize that you are no longer in control to achieve everything you
want. This is not the same as “stage”. Settling down is when you
deny what is genuinely in your heart because your head tells you
is wrong and what you “should” do or not do
something.
Is it really wrong to sleep with someone you love and are
physically attracted just because you are not ready to do
a formal monogamous engagement?
No.
Is it really wrong to sleep with someone you care about?
deeply and are attracted because it is not exclusive,
monogamous relationship?
No
The only “should” that can properly govern your life
it is that you should do what is genuinely in your heart. It doesn’t matter
whatever society tells you, no matter what anyone tells you, yeah
is true and right in your heart, then it is true and right for you.
you. That’s being your own best friend as well as a best friend.
with the person you love but are not formally engaged to.
Commit to the genuine truth in your heart. express that,
and you will feel validated, whole and complete inside.
One of the reasons relationships fail is that one person seeks validation.
on the other. But when you validate your own worth,
when you receive respect and admiration from yourself and
you don’t need it to come from the other, then you will possess a
quality that is the foundation of pure love: the ability to give.
Give understanding instead of expectation.
To give patience instead of haste.
Give compassion instead of ego satisfaction.
Give friendship instead of demanding a commitment.
the other may not be ready to do.
Because what you sow, so you will reap. As you give, so will you
be given to return. Leaving your comfort zone
be there for each other, you will find that over time, they
get out of your comfort zone to return your kindness to
you.
They will give it to you, they will entrust it to you, because you will have
showing them that you are worthy of their commitment, and
they will ask you to share your life with them.
Because he is the one who supports both the good times and
the difficult moments that finally wins love, respect, admiration,
and commitment of the other. It’s very weird
have someone in your life who will be there for you like a true
friend; This is a gift.
Relationships are testing grounds; prove the link
resistance, respect for oneself and for the other.
How can you expect someone to commit for life?
to you if they do not see first that you are capable
to face the challenges that arise during the early stages
of a relationship?
You see, life brings challenges. life brings circumstances
that you must overcome If you love a boyfriend or girlfriend,
and they can’t be there for you through the early morning
relationship challenges, how can you expect
that they commit to you for life?
Couples who have successfully overcome challenges.
of their relationship will tell you that it requires work
in oneself and beyond one’s own needs to really be there for the
other; it takes work to build a relationship that can last
the tests of life and the test of time.
When you’re not ready but you can’t let go
Life will continue to give you the same challenge in all your personal matters.
relationships until you face it head on and work it out.
For example, if you have a problem with commitment or
intimacy, you will find that same challenge in every relationship,
until one day you meet that person who causes you
look within – search your heart to find the answer. For
when you find true love, another soul you feel one with
indescribable bond, that person will make you search within
to heal the problem that blocks the flow of happiness you deserve
in your life.
And when you search within yourself for a solution, you will have
everything you really want. If you don’t, you will live with regret.
To search or not to search is always your choice.
You can choose to run from one empty relationship to another,
year after year, or you can choose to do that compliance
It comes when the bonds of love and friendship are broken
combined, and that those bonds are too valuable and precious
discard once you have found the only person you
makes you turn around when you have healed
through that relationship, you will be ready to commit
to that person with true love.
© Copyright by Barbara Rose, All Rights Reserved. extract from Individual power: claiming your essence, your truth and your life. Published by The Rose Group (2003) ISBN: 097414570X