Sometimes I hear of wives seeing their husband in a new and completely unflattering way after discovering that he cheated on her or that he had an affair. Some adjectives I hear wives use to describe their husbands are words like creepy, disgusting, repulsive, perverted, or deviant. I heard a wife say: “I found out that my husband had an affair with a bad life that he met in a bar. His behavior disgusts me. My husband is well-regarded in our community and now I found myself. out in bars and that he met this woman in a disgusting hotel to have sex. That mental image is one that I will never get out of my head. To be honest, I find my husband completely disgusting and repulsive right now. The idea of sleeping with he turns my stomach. I see him as a more laid-back pervert. Will my feelings ever change? Because I have two kids to consider. I’ll try to address these questions in the next article.
It is normal to feel upset or disgusted by your husband’s behavior: Some wives who say they find their husbands disgusting or creepy after their affair are actually disgusted by the behavior more than the person. It is very understandable to project that dislike of actions onto the person. But sometimes, this happens and the wives can finally see the difference between the two. That said, some wives simply cannot reconcile this conflict. And frankly, sometimes the only way to see which category you’re going to fall into is to just give it a little time.
What can you do when your husband disgusts you after his infidelity? The wife in this situation was so heartbroken for her children. She didn’t want to banish the father of her children from their lives. And frankly, the pain was still fresh, so he was right not to make hasty or hasty decisions. In situations like these, when you can’t even bear to see this man, it may be wise to take a break from the situation. Sometimes this means that one of you is staying with friends and family for a while until you have a broader perspective. In this case, the wife did not want to interrupt the home life of her children, so another alternative could be to sleep in separate rooms and stay away from each other for a while. The wife could make it very clear that she needed some distance and some time to herself, and if this request was not honored, she would have no choice but to get away from the situation for a while.
Sometimes distance can help feelings of upset fade and other times, they don’t diminish, but giving yourself this space is a way of knowing if your feelings are going to change over time.
Will I ever look at it the same way again? Will my dislike go away ?: I cannot answer this question with certainty because everyone is different. Often this depends on how egregious the husband’s actions really were. I can tell you from experience that in my own situation, over a very gradual period of time, I was eventually able to remember my husband’s good attributes in the past and this counted for something. Over time, when I thought about my husband, I didn’t just think about the recent bad experience. And I think a lot of times this happens once a true healing has occurred. Once you start to heal, you no longer want or need to focus solely on the negative.
Over time, I remembered how my husband supported me for many years while raising our children. I remembered staying with my sick grandfather twenty-four hours a day during cancer treatment. I remembered how he worked tirelessly to craft furniture for our children’s bedrooms. And this mattered to me in the end and helped me balance some of the negative memories that I had developed. So while you couldn’t tell this wife if her own feelings would change in the future, I could suggest that she simply observe and respect her feelings, take a break if needed, and focus on healing. Because, no matter what ultimately happens to your husband, healing is the first step in making positive feelings and memories possible. And whether you are continuing your marriage or not, you deserve to keep a positive attitude.