By 
Love, this four letter word with many components is simple but complex. In some respects, you may experience feelings of happiness and joy, but in others, it can leave you jaded. I remember conversations about love and how this culprit could make me lose. People would discourage such an experience saying that it will make you do foolish things.
How does this “thing” called love compare you to being a fool? That is not attractive in any way. Needless to say, love didn’t entertain me because of the negative connotation it sometimes carries. These misguided words of wisdom made me fear to experience them. Consequently, when I played with love, I did my best to keep my feelings at bay. I was telling myself that he needs to love me more than I love him. This would prevent him from hurting me if the relationship didn’t last.
Then one day passed. I went too far, I lowered my guard too much and so I was experiencing love and enjoying it. I found out that being vulnerable and boundless naked wasn’t so bad, until the BIG BREAK. That indescribable love ended abruptly leaving me heartbroken. I felt like I had experienced the distress syndrome. I thought “LOVE sucks!” How quickly I returned to the lessons learned from my youth. I was angry and briefly, the breakup made me somehow feel bad even about myself. I always thought I was pretty solid when it came to my self esteem and self esteem, but unbeknownst to me, I was slipping into low self esteem and a lack of self esteem.
After that brief, horrible phase in life and a bit of self-reflection, I got it back. I found a deep appreciation for myself. Self love is the first love!
“You yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha
I really came to a great place in life where I love myself a little. I am grateful for my looks, my quirks, my style, and my imperfections. I learned to take time for myself and I pamper myself to the fullest. So yeah, I’m pretty awesome!
Once I reconnected with that need in life, only then was I ready and ready to face love one more time.
Self-love is not selfish. You cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself – Author unknown
I thought about the past situation and had an epiphany that love doesn’t suck at all. Love, in fact, was not the villain. Ernest Hemingway said it best
“It is better to lose and love than never to have loved.”
I made the decision to remember the benefits of love in the face of the aftermath of a broken promise. The emotions and feelings that I felt or that I feel when I am in love are incredible. I choose to focus on the glass being half full and I am careful not to lose sight of that optimism. There is hope for a person despised for love because there was hope for me. Since that failed love, I have loved over and over again. You understand.
With every opportunity to love, I have learned to love even better. I am truly a self taught desperate romantic and a lover of love. I acknowledge my feelings and emotions. Some would say that love is not a feeling, but I do not agree. I feel the love in my heart just as I felt that lack of love. I created a newfound gratitude for this supposed bad thing. When you are given the opportunity to love and when love is reciprocated, it can be a wonderful adventure.
If you are sick of love, you should revisit this amazing feeling / emotion. You get what you put in, so I challenge you to pay attention to what you are showing. If you feel like love always fails, guess what it will always fail. If you think that love is an illusion, it is likely that the love you experience is just that. I encourage you to try it again because we’ve all had epic failures when it comes to love, but it’s your choice how you want to remember it.