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How to give feedback to employees is one of the most frequent questions my coaching clients ask. Usually, the situation is framed as a problem employee: someone who doesn’t listen, doesn’t follow instructions, isn’t careful about their job, or isn’t working in some way. Sometimes the person really isn’t the right partner for the job. More often, however, the real problem is a manager not providing clear, actionable feedback about their expectations and the behaviors that need to change.
Many people equate giving feedback with starting a confrontation and therefore avoid it. One company president confessed that he was afraid to discuss performance problems with an employee because he “fears he’ll get very angry.” Some managers spend the evening hours redoing a subordinate’s work, hoping that the individual will “see” what the manager wants. Others get so frustrated that they explode with rage. In one company, an employee was simply handed over to different department heads until one finally fired him.
The key to giving good feedback is to avoid making evaluative statements about someone’s behavior. These are comments that reflect your opinion about what happened or how you and other people reacted. Evaluative or critical statements make people defensive and therefore unlikely to hear the real message. So don’t say things like “If I had listened more carefully to the instructions, we would be done by now” or “No one on the management team could understand your logic.”
I have successfully used the following five-step model with several of my clients who report that it has enabled them to respond to people in a constructive rather than combative manner. Here’s how it works: The first step is to be specific and objective about the person’s actions. The second step is to describe the impact of the behavior. The third step is to explain how the situation is affecting you. The fourth step is to explain what, exactly, you want the person to start doing differently. Finally, step five is to check for agreement.
This is how a manager used the feedback model with a salesperson.
one. “When you include too much background information in your proposals” [factual statement of behavior]
two. “The customer may have difficulty reaching the offer” [impact of behavior]
3. “I am worried that we will lose sales and the division will not meet the quota” [impact on you]
Four. “What I would like you to do is keep your summary to three or four sentences and get the offer on the first page.” [what you want the person to do] …
5. “How does that sound to you?” [check for agreement]
Don’t skip the last step because people are more likely to follow it if they agree with what you’re asking them to do. And if the two of you aren’t on the same page, this is an opportunity to work out the differences right away. Also remember to give feedback when you observe the behavior, not days or weeks later, and always in a private space.