By 
This is a calming balm designed to help those who feel that they lack the unconditional love of others. Just like me, you can come to appreciate who you really are and move on with your life. Raising your own self-esteem to new levels will allow you to recover your personal values. Doing so will establish new feelings that you have a right to be here. Why am I writing this article? To help anyone who feels low self-esteem. Mental health is an important issue today.
I am a grown man who has been mercilessly punished by my three younger brothers for decades. The reason? Because I am different. I have been repeatedly told that I am not a good person and that I have failed everyone in my family. “You embarrass us because you talk to strangers.” It was one of his claims. “You can’t live without a partner in your life. We don’t need anyone else in our life. You’re not like us!” Is another one. “What? You write poems to your wife? What are you, a fagot?” it had been another…
It would seem that for some the image of a ‘real man’ is a man without a manicure. He yells at his wife at every opportunity, like one of my brothers does. He calls her every bad name under the sun, in public. I’ve seen it, it’s relentless. When someone asks a ‘real man’ for an opinion, you should nod your head and pretend to agree, but then criticize that person the moment he turns his back on you. Instead of expressing his opinion constructively. Anyway, what has happened to our debating skills in this millennium?
I am the oldest of four children. Same parents and same traditional culture. One would think that those younger than me would be thinking in more ‘modern’ ways. But they don’t. Although they think their ethos is the most correct, I personally find it outdated. I remember once I was sitting in a cafe and there were five of us. One of my brothers had just gotten married, so his young wife was sitting with us. After the waitress took our order and walked away from her, comments began to fly around the table. They sounded like, “Wow, did you see the boobs on her?” one said. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind dropping it on this table.” The married man observed. “How can you say things like that with your wife sitting next to you?” I asked. “That’s right, another sermon from the great philosopher of life! What would you know? No one wants to hear your opinion.” it was his reproach.
This made me feel worthless and like I didn’t belong. As if I had done something wrong. Some may see it as a form of bullying, but I can tell you that it really puts cracks in your armor if you don’t change things. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Since then I have been abroad. Even when our father died, the three of them sat together and ignored me. I mean, you’d think at a funeral some things would soften a bit. But they were not. The feelings of inadequacy continue because they must punish for who I am. I am different, first and last. Now I feel good about myself. I feel comfortable in my own skin and clearly understand why others attack like this.
Let’s jump right into that! The best thing to do, as I’ve found, is to sit alone in a quiet space with a pen and paper. Now, think about the things that make up your attributes. Try to answer the question ‘Who am I?’ listing your skills, talents, past accomplishments, dreams, and desires. It is not so much about material possession, but more about your own personal qualities. The things you can’t put in a bottle or measure. Once listed, read them again. Ask yourself this: ‘Do I need someone to keep these qualities in me?’ And look what happens. For starters, you’ll suddenly realize that sometimes people attack you, ignore you, or disrespect you because they can’t be I like it your. They don’t really understand you. So who owns the problem? That’s right, they do! I hope this message helps others who feel out of it, and feel so alone… that it’s taking a toll on their mental health.
I no longer worry about what my brothers say to me, or about me, or what they think of me. But I offer you this, you have a right to be here!