If you are facing martial issues or a separation, it is very common to try to get back to the basic connection between you, and that is the love you share. Because even when things are tough, most people can at least realize that even if the feelings of love have evolved and changed a bit, the core feelings still remain, even if they manifest differently.

A problem can arise when one of the spouses insists on denying these loving feelings. A wife can explain a situation like this: “I’m not going to sugarcoat it. My marriage sucks right now. It’s horrible. We fight all the time. There are times when I think my husband and I don’t like each other.” a lot. But when I have those thoughts, I take solace in the fact that deep down, we love each other, even though we haven’t expressed it very well lately. We quarreled a lot last night, and I expressed this sentiment to my husband. Imagine my surprise when he told me that he not only didn’t love me anymore, but he didn’t feel anything for me anymore. He went on to say that when he sees me now, the feelings he feels in response are almost the same as when he sees a stranger walk into the room. He says that he does not feel hate or animosity. He claims that he feels the absence of love or hate. In essence, nothing. In the background At the end of the conversation, he packed a bag, said that we were separated, and urged me to accept it. I am stunned on so many levels. In one night, I was told that my husband has no feelings for me and now I am suddenly separated. Is it possible for a husband to feel absolutely nothing for his wife?”

Probability: I suppose it’s possible, but I don’t always think it’s likely. And I find it very telling that his admission came after a big fight. Certainly, constant quarrels and tensions can have a negative impact on the loving feelings between you. But it doesn’t seem plausible to me that loving feelings will completely disappear overnight. Now, couples who have been fighting and disrespecting each other for many years may find themselves in a very combative relationship where love has been replaced by unpleasant feelings. But it’s unusual for someone to deny feeling anything at all. (Which is why I think it’s unlikely to be true.)

Understanding the real dangers of indifference: I don’t mean to alarm you, but I have come to the conclusion that indifference in marriage (or lack of feeling) is a sign of grave danger. Because? Because at least when you’re angry or disappointed in your spouse, it still affects you, which means you’re still emotionally involved.

When someone doesn’t feel anything at all, it could mean that they are no longer interested, which can be problematic. However, she would give it more weight if her husband had made this announcement in a calm moment rather than when they were fighting. You obviously know your husband and I don’t, but often when something is said in the heat of the moment like this, it’s meant to hurt or at least provoke a reaction.

So yeah, it seems unlikely to me that a husband would suddenly have no feelings for his wife. I think it’s more likely that fights and ill will have numbed those feelings over time. Does this mean you can’t get your feelings back? Absolutely not. In my own experience, it is absolutely possible, but it can require a great deal of effort, willpower, and patience.

A step by step process: The first step is to stop whatever is deteriorating the relationship. In this case, that seems to be the struggle. A breakup can be scary and difficult (I know that firsthand, too), but sometimes an unexpected benefit is that it stops the fighting, which in turn sets the stage for healing the relationship. Some couples can do this without counseling, but many take advantage of counseling to help them stop whatever is hurting their feelings.

The importance of everyone opening up: Once the fight stops or stops, the key is to restore the loving feelings between you. This is accomplished by spending time together, sharing experiences, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to receive and give love during this time. This vulnerability is extremely important. Because? Because a man who claims to “feel nothing” is an indication of a man who has shut down. In order to feel love again, he will have to be willing to open up again.

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