I don’t think anyone can really appreciate the complexities of Starbucks until they’ve lost their internet connection. It’s one thing to head to coffee heaven every day to sip your designer latte from a mug adorned with the familiar icon of caffeine elitists. You are in, you are out. You can explore the baked goodies or scan the room to see who is there. But until you’ve parked at this establishment for hours, partaking of the free Wi-Fi along with expensive drinks, you haven’t really captured the magic of Starbucks.

I lost my internet connection at home, so I went looking for a connection. And since Starbucks is right down the street, I decided to combine my obsession with expensive java with my need for global access. Starbucks was perfect.

I had never spent much time there before. I never noticed the way baristas interact with their customers and each other in a truly harmonious way. I did not appreciate the choice of music that underlines the atmosphere in this place which is still great, despite its global dominance of all things coffee. You’d think the fickle world would have moved on by now and unearthed some other hidden culinary treasure.

From the music played to the lighting to the friendly staff, everything at Starbucks is designed to make you feel calm and happy. It didn’t take me more than 15 minutes to feel at home, not like a parasitic intruder feeding off the internet connection. He was full of positive emotions.

I am not naive. I know this environment is not an accident. It’s a satisfying combination of smart marketing, design, and ergonomics coming together to support our addiction to really good coffee.

When chemistry works, there is both a spark and a calm. I don’t know how they mix, but they do.

I realized that the same thing happens with women. The environment you create, your personal environment, is what calms you down. When you create an atmosphere that makes her feel good, she associates that positive feeling with you. Be like that place where you can relax and feel at home, with or without conversation. Many men think it’s up to them, but it’s more about what she feels when she’s with you. Stop trying to impress and focus on creating that space where you can release your stress and ignore the evils of the world. Provide an environment where you feel welcome, not pushed to buy. You need to know that someone is there to help when you need it, but not on your table, putting you on edge.

Be your Starbucks.

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