By 
1. Question: Am I a sex addict?
Answer: There are a number of warning signs that can indicate a sex addiction. A person who uses sexual activity, whether it be intercourse, viewing pornography, phone sex, chat rooms, prostitution, or masturbation as a numbing agent, something to keep them from feeling bad, may have a sex addiction. Other indicators that the sexual behavior is causing addiction problems include that her spouse is upset by her behavior or that they have gone into debt from paying phone sex lines or Internet porn sites. Spending an excessive amount of time viewing porn More than 10 hours a week is another red flag, as this sexual behavior interferes with time spent with friends, family, or work.
Another key factor is that the addict has tried to stop engaging in sexual behavior but has failed. When all these things come together, it’s time to ask a professional for help.
2. Question: Can I be cured?
Answer: Many sex addicts have reported that they can control their sexual behavior through a variety of treatment methods. Some attend intensive rehabilitation facilities; others go to therapy sessions, attend 12-step meetings, or use medication and many other techniques to control their sexual behavior. This may include finding a trusted person to act as a “responsible partner.” Or for porn addicts, it may mean the use of porn-blocking software.
3. Question: Does being cured mean I stop having sex?
Answer: No. Unlike chemical dependencies related to alcohol or drugs, sex is recognized as a healthy aspect of life. Treatment for sex addiction, while involving a period of abstinence, seeks to control harmful and unwanted problematic sexual activity to the point where it is no longer causing harm. It can lead to stopping viewing porn, discontinuing soliciting prostitutes, and other “basic” behaviors or even illegal activities. The goal is to stop the harmful behavior, but certainly not to give up sex.
4. Question: Is sex addiction real, or just something people use to excuse their behavior?
Answer: Truth be told, there are some experts who don’t feel that sex addiction is real and say that it is more a product of conflicting social norms and customs. Others say that sex addiction exists, but they don’t feel it meets the definition of addiction in the same way as alcohol or drug addiction. For a sex addict seeking treatment, it can be a moot point. To get treatment, you first have to recognize that you have a problem and stop trying to use your own willpower to control it. Many people have sought treatment for sex addiction and reported results. Much of the criticism of its validity has been directed at celebrities involved in public sex scandals and it is hardly similar to the average person who does not live in the public eye. Sex addiction is real and someone struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors can certainly attest to that fact.
5. Question: What caused this? How did I get to be this way?
Answer: There is no definitive cause for sex addiction, and it will be different for each person. Many sex addicts report being sexually abused at a young age and growing up with a distorted view of sex and what a healthy sex life should look like. For others, it’s simply the rush of chemicals in their brain after discovering a parent’s porn stash or finding it in some other way. Still others indicate that the accessibility of Internet porn caused them to fall into a cycle, while there are those who turned to sex as a numbing agent during a difficult period of their lives and began to rely on it as a coping mechanism. For some, growing up with abuse, neglect, abandonment, and entanglement has led them to look for other ways to feel good about life and about themselves.
While it is important to know the cause of sex addiction, those on the road to recovery should not seek to dwell on the unchanging past; instead, they need to focus on their present actions.
6. Question: Does viewing pornography and sexual interaction on the Internet count as cheating on my spouse?
Answer: Not to be simplistic, but it may depend on the spouse. Certainly, many women feel that their spouses having cybersex or phone sex with another woman qualifies as infidelity. They may not react exactly the same way as if he had had physical sex with another woman, but the impact on a relationship can be told. First, the wife will feel betrayed. She will not trust her husband if he has been hiding her behavior. She may feel bad about herself, perhaps thinking that some failure on her part led her husband to pursue these sexual outlets.
Even watching porn can be a sore spot for women. Society puts a lot of pressure on women to be physically attractive and sexually desirable and they may feel that they are in competition with actresses in pornographic videos. This can affect their self-esteem, even if they don’t confront their husband about the behavior.
7. Question: Can medication lower my sex drive so I don’t have this problem?
Answer: Yes and no. There are medications that can reduce a person’s sexual desire and are often used to treat sex addiction. However, they have limited power to completely erase the problem. Some form of therapy is required, be it a 12-step program or another process.
8. Question: Will I ever be cured or is it a lifelong problem?
Answer: Many people report that they are able to control their sexual behaviors, sometimes over a period of months or years, and live relatively free lives of problems related to sex addiction. These people have addressed factors in their lives that they once tried to control through sex; now they have integrated multiple tools into their lives to avoid falling back into destructive cycles of addiction. For some, there is always the fear of relapsing, and some struggle with sex addiction for long periods of time. There is no quick fix for the problem.
9. Question: I am also addicted to alcohol. Is my sex addiction just a sign that I am susceptible to addictive behaviors in general?
Answer: In a way, yes. Many sex addicts report being addicted to alcohol, drugs, or behaviors such as gambling. They also claim relatives with various addictions. Certainly it has been theorized that a person may have a genetic predisposition to addictive behaviors. Regarding the treatment of multiple addictions, it should be noted that many sex addiction treatment programs are modeled after the alcohol treatment techniques developed by Alcoholics Anonymous. 12-step programs such as Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous model their programs and borrow their literature from that organization.
10. Question: Am I really a sex addict or is my sex drive naturally high?
Answer: The difference between a sex addict and a person who really enjoys sex has to do with why the behavior is sought and the inability to stop unwanted behavior as well as obsession and compulsion. A person with a high sexual desire is aroused and, in most cases, can control the action of that arousal. A sex addict engages in sex as a coping mechanism, isolates herself from others, even if she has a real-life partner for sex, and engages in sex compulsively. They may feel ashamed after completing the act, or some general feelings of depression. Real excitement is not the main motivator.