By 
Grievance is an anguish-filled process that requires enormous amounts of energy. It must be balanced with a daily self-care regimen that replenishes both physical and emotional energy. Otherwise, the result is eventual illness and further suffering.
However, self-care at the time of loss is rarely on the mind of mourners. Still, awareness of the need and minor changes in daily activities will play an important role in avoiding additional physical and emotional distress.
Here are five self-care actions you can take to balance the drain on the complaint process.
1. Take a daily stress break of at least 30 minutes. Find a quiet place, lie down and put your feet up. Play relaxing music or listen to a relaxation tape if you like. This rest period will also provide an opportunity to get away from overzealous caregivers or friends and satisfy the need to release pent-up muscle tension. While resting, take a deep abdominal breath. As you exhale, visualize your breath moving through your muscles and releasing tension. Repeat several times.
2. Drink plenty of water and cut down on caffeine. Most people mourning the death of a loved one dehydrate easily. This often leads to muscle cramps and a feeling of fainting, adding to the distress the body is undergoing due to the complaint. Caffeine is a dehydrator and will increase fluid loss. Do everything possible to increase your consumption of pure spring water.
3. Treat yourself to something you would like. Yes, every day treat yourself. There is nothing selfish about pampering yourself. Choose something that helps balance the sadness: sit by the sea, window shop, eat your favorite food, buy some flowers. Since your loved one is no longer meeting some of your needs, it’s okay to reach out to yourself to fill the void.
4. Take a daily 10-minute walk. Granted, you may be too overwhelmed by your loss to start walking in the first few days of your loss, although it would be helpful. But don’t let more than two or three days go by before you start. Remember, we all need physical outlets for the emotional stimuli that cause so much muscle tension. The research is clear: the energy expenditure of walking can have a significant effect on how you manage stress in your life and improve your health. After a few days, try adding some kind of music to your walk or try a prayer walk.
5. Bathe in cherished memories. Take time each day to think about memories that bring great feelings of accomplishment and joy in relationship with your loved one. Focusing on these memories will not only help balance negative thoughts that often occur, but you can also talk to others about them and receive additional information. Be sure to include in your memory bank those moments in which you have felt loved throughout your life.
While your caregivers will try to help you in many ways, it is important that you primarily focus on replenishing your energy each day in order for you to be successful in your grief journey. If it can be helpful, write a schedule of times to provide your personal care so that it is consistent and you get the benefits of your program.
At the same time, you will begin some of the new routines that should become part of your new life as you adjust to the loss of your loved one. Never forget that your thoughts and attitudes about yourself play a major role in how you handle your complaint, maintain your health, and invest in your new life. Take the best care of yourself, and consider using your grieving experience to grow in wisdom and insight about love and life.