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If you currently suffer from hemorrhoids, you probably can’t believe that someone can see a lighter side!
At this time, these embarrassing, rather unpleasant, very uncomfortable and often painful swollen veins can only be very bad! Right now, being the butt of a hemorrhoids joke only adds insult to injury.
It is said that you know you are in “middle age” when jokes about hemorrhoids stop being funny.
However, the following are just a few lighter side stories that might help you feel better. Or at least make you understand that your affliction is of wide interest and that you are in the company of many illustrious persons.
hemorrhoids they are a rock band. Imagine the introduction “ladies and gentlemen put your hands – er, cheeks – er, no, hands together for the pride of Lawrence, Kansas, The Hemorrhoids!” Although their mothers must be very proud of them, I’m sure depending on their age and “musical” appreciation, when you hear them on YouTube, you’ll be close to whether the band or condition is more painful.
The hemorrhoids are part of the lyrics of a song written by frank zappaabout, among other things, a groupie’s hemorrhoids.
But at least it’s not the only theme of the song. A popular musician by the name of Peter Cross actually wrote a full song about hemorrhoids. Her fans, who probably don’t suffer from hemorrhoids, regularly request the song. If you’re interested, you can find the lyrics on their website… and you can sing along!
Bleeding hemorrhoids made at least two classical composers miserable. Consider this journal entry from the great Giacomo Meyerbeer of 1851: “Friday, May 23. I suffered all day from a diarrheal condition and cramps which affected me greatly, as well as pains in the back and sides. I suspect that these symptoms, recurring so frequently, are a sign of hemorrhoids “.
Not much progress has been made in the treatment of hemorrhoids since, approximately half a century later, Gustav Mahler I had them too. “(1900) also brought Mahler’s resignation from the Vienna Philharmonic and a terrifying incident involving haemorrhoids in which he lost a great deal of blood.”
According to a review, hemorrhoids are also a real problem. problem for drummers. Hours and hours of sitting on a little stool and banging on the drums. Plus, all that constipating bar food is not a good combination for hemorrhoids!
Beyonce’s little sister, Solange, tweeted that she doesn’t know how to spell “hemorrhoids.” She probably wouldn’t make it to the second round of the spelling bee, and if she needed hemorrhoid treatment, she probably wouldn’t want to sit out when she lost!
Hemorrhoid ointment comes in a jimmy buffett novel, “Where’s Joe Merchant?” A rock star goes missing and his “heiress to hemorrhoid ointment” sister wants to know for sure if he’s dead. I didn’t really make this weird stuff up, Jimmy Buffett did!
If you have hemorrhoids, you have something in common with some very famous people. Napoleon Bonaparte, the French emperor, had hemorrhoids so severe that he could not sit on his horse and lead his army at the Battle of Waterloo. Historians may debate that weather, overconfidence, and miscommunication with field generals caused Napoleon’s defeat, but hemorrhoid sufferers know better. Who knows how history might have changed if Napoleon didn’t have batteries?
George Brett, the star player for the Kansas City Royals, unfortunately had a severe bout of hemorrhoids that caused him to miss parts of the 1980 World Series with the Phillies. Fans were shocked because George was only 27 years old at the time. Some even offered home remedies ranging from eating orange peel and whole wheat to applying Listerine to hemorrhoids! Needless to say, George opted for surgery.
Even American presidents have not been immune to this condition and in 1992, President Jimmy Carter he underwent surgery to get rid of his hemorrhoids.
And finally, in addition to an anthrax infection, a severed eyeball, kidney problems, a torn groin muscle, and a broken arm from a car accident, Ernest Hemingwaythe famous writer also suffered from hemorrhoids!
But