A key part of my game that was missing 4 years ago was the fact that I had no idea how important physical contact was. I remember sitting in a coffee shop, jotting down some notes on the latest things I’ve learned from continually talking to hundreds of women everywhere. Suddenly something clicked. Imagine that you get along very well with a girl. The conversation is fluid, they look into each other’s eyes a lot. But you don’t take the time to make some kind of physical contact soon after you meet her. Instead, you wait until you escalate sexually. That will make her feel hesitant. She is still not used to having physical contact with you and you are already escalating sexually.

Realizing that made me adapt quickly. It became clear that making physical contact is really important. It doesn’t mean becoming the creepy mawkish type. It means you shouldn’t be afraid to request physical contact. Establishing this within the first few times you meet the girl is very important. Also, when you first meet a girl, physical contact should be frequent, but brief (ie, tell her a lively story and lightly touch her arm briefly). As she develops a connection, the duration of physical contact should be longer (ie holding her hand). Here are some quick ways/tips I’ve used to get physical the first few times I’ve been out with the girl.

Keep in mind that it is important that you feel comfortable when you see the girl. If you try anything posted below and you’re really nervous about it, and you do it halfheartedly, it’s not going to help your game, it’s going to hurt it. Have a confident and relaxed demeanor, and physically climbing should be a piece of cake.

Back

-If you’re walking along with the girl, push her hip to the side with yours playfully. If she pushes yours back, use that moment to say something funny like, “haha, you’re pretty feisty, aren’t you?” and put your arm around her.

-If you’re in a setting like a coffee shop and you’re telling an animated story (using hand gestures), you can lightly or playfully tap her on the side of the arm.

-Use this as a last resort. I’ll take it out from time to time, but avoid having it as your favorite option. Tell him about the study in which many men’s character traits were examined and compared to the length of their ring and index fingers. If the ring finger is longer than the index finger, there was high testosterone exposure in utero. Ask to see his hand, and while in yours, discuss whether or not he had high testosterone exposure in utero. You can even change this to talk about her, talk about whether she’s aggressive, likes to lead, etc. Girls love to talk about themselves, you have a perfect opportunity to let her do it here.

-If you’re sitting across from her at a table and reaching out to touch her looks weird, bring your leg closer to hers under the table. Then, after touching her leg to yours a few times, keep your leg in contact with hers. In the knee/calf area it is perfect. If she doesn’t move her leg away from her, that usually means 2 things: she is comfortable in your company or she likes you.

NOT TO DO

-Do not reach. What makes physical contact look weird is if you do it from a long way away. When you touch the girl while sitting near her, it’s subtle and feels natural. When you try to touch her, it gives her logical brain time to start analyzing what you’re doing, and it seems awkward to anyone sitting next to you.

Don’t look where you’re touching it. If you lightly touch her arm while talking, maintain strong eye contact.

-If you are telling her a story and using animated hand gestures, do not maintain physical contact with her for more than a few seconds MAX.

Now a disclaimer: use the pointers above as guidelines. There are just a few examples that I am using to illustrate how I initiate physical contact. Ideally, you should discover your own way of doing it. The key is to make it feel comfortable and natural to you. Some unique situations require a different approach. The above is mainly aimed at those first few times you see the girl and you are making a connection both emotionally and physically. Once you’re more comfortable with each other (and a certain level of kissing/sexual escalation occurs), you can make physical contact when you feel it’s necessary.

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