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Are you shying away from your support system? Are you declining invitations from friends or family to join them for a family dinner or barbecue? Are you choosing to hike alone instead of with your old walking buddies? If so, you are not simply isolating yourself from the social contact necessary when grieving, but you are actually delaying healing from your great loss.
The numerous studies on the subject of social interaction and its relationship to health and longevity have made it abundantly clear: Your social circle plays an important role in mitigating stress and stimulating the healing process.
This does not mean that you avoid all the time to be alone. We need quiet time as well as interactive time. Solitude replenishes the inner life and allows us to balance the constant buzz and attention that often occurs when grieving a major loss.
However, it is important to understand that the love and support of friends and family can affect the way you feel about yourself at a time when sadness and depression often take a toll on your energy and spirit. This is one of those moments of grief, that it is essential to do what you do not like to do, and to engage with others in a social setting. You may want to view it as a distraction, a necessary distraction that is part of your grievance job.
Diversions in grief are essential to ease the mind from constantly thinking about the loss. The grievance process itself is hard work and consumes energy. It is perfectly normal to seek a break away from sadness and pain. In fact, it’s important to schedule time each day to take extra care of yourself and do something just for yourself, even if you don’t feel like it.
If you want to change your isolating behavior, start by changing your beliefs. Beliefs are the engine of behaviors. Often our beliefs about grievance and what we should do are taken from poor grievance models early in life. If, for example, you were taught to believe that the depth of your love for the deceased is expressed by how long you grieve, or that it is disrespectful to find a moment of enjoyment even while mourning, these beliefs will bring you suffering. unnecessary. .
Take a careful look at why you are isolating yourself and consider changing unhealthy beliefs. We all have them. In any case, make a commitment to yourself to talk to at least three people each day and accept invitations that allow you to get out of the house and interact with others.
In summary, discover the hidden beliefs that limit your healthy complaint work. Recognize the great importance of the love expressed to you by members of your support network. It will go a long way in helping you gradually reinvest your emotional energy in rewarding activities. Love will open your mind and heart to make sense of your great loss and will lead you to reinvest in life.